Not eating like a starving pig is proving to be expensive. It's so much cheaper to just buy a fridge full of lean pockets and stock up on bread and sandwich meats than it is to buy REAL fruits and vegetables. I went to the store to day to get some fruit, veggies, milk, juice, granola bars, and chicken, and I ended up spending eighty dollars. Goodness gracious. Of course, I couldn't resist the temptation to buy Lean Pockets, so I got those too. There are just some things in life you can't part from and for me that item is my Lean Pockets or Hot Pockets.
I remember the first time I ever saw a Hot Pocket. My dad had purchased the old school BBQ Beef Hot Pockets. I didn't know what they were, but I kept looking at him eating them, and I finally asked what those were and could I have one. From that point on, my mother had to buy both my father and I BBQ Hot Pockets upon every visit to the Base Commissary.
My BodyBugg program is confused about me I think. I don't think it realizes I stay up all night and sleep all day. Since my schedule is messed up, I've been documenting whatever I eat during my night owl sessions on the day portion of the food log. (So everything I eat tonight will go on Wednesday's food log instead of Thursday even though midnight it changed to Thursday.)
Here's a little orientation to how the Body Bugg system looks on the computer.
This picture below is what appears on a daily basis once I upload all my food that I've eaten and uploaded my data from the BodyBugg. The target calories burned is based on my goal that I want to obtain by a certain date. I want to lose about 2-3 lbs per week. My calories consumed is based off of two meals (my schedule is messed up like you know, so still going to up for a few hours.) If you look on the bottom of the picture you can see where my activity peaks (where I burned the most calories).
Here's what the food log section looks like. They give you a meal plan that you can follow, and you change that up as you need it or just decide whatever diet you want to do. I've been sleeping during the day (as you can see from my activity log), so my "breakfast" was what I ate at 730 PM and my lunch was what I ate when I got home from shopping around 1230 AM/1 AM.
Here's my activity log. It tracks medium to intense activity. My 4 AM activity was when I decided to dance around/do TV workouts. My 10 PM - 11 PM is when I went to the gym. I did 45 minutes of the elliptical/treadmill. 11 PM - 12 AM is whenever I went to Walmart and was walking around the store/carrying groceries.
It's a great program. It keeps track to see if maybe you need to pick up your intensity if you want to lose the amount of weight you want to lose in your time period. It also motivates you to workout because it shows you how many calories you will only burn if you don't workout the rest of the day.
My sleeping schedule is so messed up! My body has officially switched itself from days to nights. It refuses to stay up in the day time, and it demands I stay up at night. Otherwise, I end up depressed/complain a lot (to myself obviously since I live alone and have no boyfriend).
Take last night for instance, I was awake all night. I was tired having not slept Monday night at all, and only a few hours of sleep during Tuesday afternoon, so I should have been able to sleep last night. Instead, I ended up on here, watching 24 on Netflix, dancing to Latino Pop music on the music channel (I don't know why I felt like dancing, but I did), and then I ended up looking through all the OnDemand fitness videos for the television. I did 10 minutes of a Crunch Latino Dance Party video, and then I went into my bedroom to start watching Babel/Day After Tomorrow on the television, but really wasn't paying attention and messing around with Facebook on my phone.
I decided around 530 AM that I wanted to watch the Day After Tomorrow in Spanish. You would not believe the amount of times I've watched the movie in English (I've got ALL the lines memorized), so I figured it would be great practice for my Spanish.
I finally fell asleep around 7 AM. I slept till about 1230, and then I got up to make a call to my Utility company because their payment was not showing up on my bank account. I am set up for automatic bank drafts, and the payment was scheduled for the 27th. Being the 29th, I didn't want them to think I wasn't paying my bill. I was on hold for the utility company for 43 minutes. Finally they told me my account was fine and the bank draft came through, and perhaps it will just take a few days to post to my account.
I called my mother then and talked for a bit, and then I fell back asleep and slept until 630 PM. I laid around in my bed for another hour or so since I was still rather groggy, and then I got up around 730 because I was starving. That's really the only thing I hate about dieting/watching what you eat. I always wake up with my stomach growling, and I always get extremely hungry very late at night/before I need to go to sleep.
I don't know what it is about me psychologically, but I can't stand to ever feel hungry. When I don't watch what I eat, I never feel hungry. I eat before I think I might get hungry. It's strange to realize that I did this before. I never ate when I was hungry before; I ate just to avoid being hungry. Crazy. I was NEVER hungry. ooooOoooOOOOo. Dr, Phil issues right there.
Off I go to get ready for the gym. It's almost 9 PM! For breakfast today, (at 8 PM lol) I had Fruity Cheerios with fat free milk and some scrambled eggs. Yummy!
P.S. Still no response from the corporation. Two days left on her time limit for a formal apology.
I've had a good diet day today. Granted, I mostly was laying around and not that active, I still did well with my eating, and I documented every single item of food I ate today. I ended up with a total of 1752 calories. Compared to the 10 million calories a day I was eating, that's a ton better. I even got up and made eggs this morning compared to skipping breakfast or chowing down on Pop Tarts while watching the kids this morning.
I wore my BodyBugg as well. You can tell how lazy I've been today because it basically looks like I didn't move beyond my gym visit or when I made Tristian lunch today. (Horrible!) I updated my activity level as LOW on the BodyBugg program because I'm not working right now, so I'm sure my metabolism has decreased. When I'm at work, I'm up all day, moving around, walking tons, and I'm on my feet from 7 till 4/5.
My workout at the gym went alright. I wasn't really going to go today as I was outside having our little neighbor nightly circle get together where we all sit around and talk to each other for an hour or so, but decided to get my tennis shoes and head over there around 10 P.M. I did a mile on the elliptical, a half mile on the treadmill, and a quarter of the mile on the cross trainer glider thing (not sure what that's called). It totaled approximately 30 minutes. Not the best workout, but it was really relaxing, and it helped release some stress that has been building over the past six days regarding a walk-in clinic I recently went to. I finally lost it today, and after six days of back and forth, transfers, etc. I finally decided to email one of the executive members of corporation since their customer feedback on their website was not working. I sent the following email (which will also give you insight concerning what made me so angry! - I'll block out any important/personal details.)
Mrs. ----------,
My name is Jessica --------. My contact information is --- --- ---- if you feel as if you need to call me.
I attempted to leave my comments in the appropriate customer feedback section of your website, but the form would not submit properly. .
I would not resort to emailing you for a simple feedback issue, but it seems your job description from the website best matched where this feedback should come. I am sorry if this is not part of your job description, and if it is not, may you please forward this to the appropriate person?
I was attempting to submit the following testimonial to the ---- feedback website:
I have used ---- for approximately 6-9 months since relocating to ----------. The care facility was recommended to me by a colleague, and I was very impressed with my first few visits. After my last visit, I am sorry to say that I will not be returning to -------. On Thursday, I was seen at the ----------- clinic for a sty/to check my thyroid levels. During the beginning of my visit, I was not asked what medications I was currently taking by any of the nursing staff which has normally been done in the past. I specifically requested having the thyroid labs taken during my visit to the office. Once in with the doctor, we discussed the labs as well. After receiving my prescription for the sty, they wished me farewell. I told them they had not yet completed my thyroid panel. They said the doctor never mentioned it to them, and he was now in the room with another patient. I had to wait in the room for another 15 minutes while they asked the doctor about labs that I had requested at the beginning of the visit and during my consultation with the doctor. Finally the labs were completed. They said they would call it in. I told them, they had not even asked what dosage I was currently taking or what pharmacy to call the prescription into. Finally the nurse wrote the information concerning my current dosage along with my pharmacy. I was told the prescription would be called in tomorrow (6/24), once the panel came back and they were able to analyze the results. The prescription was never called in. On Monday (6/27), I called the ----------------- office back regarding the progress of the prescription. They acted like they had no idea what I was talking about. They said there were no records in my file about having to call the prescription in, and that the doctor I had seen (Dr. --------) was not in their branch today. The nurse who I talked to said she would make a note regarding my call and show the doctor my panel results in order to call in my prescription later that day. The prescription was still not called in. I called back Tuesday (6/28), and I asked about the progress again. They once again told me that had no record of me calling to ask about filling my prescription, and that Dr. ------ was in the --------------------- location, and that if I wanted a prescription, I had to call their branch. I called the --------- branch, and I was transferred to a nurse who was very helpful. She said she would talk to Dr. ----------, show him my panel results, and get a prescription called in. She was prompt in her duties, and she is the ONLY one in the whole entire mess I have no issue with. The prescription was later called in, and she called to confirm it with me. When I called the pharmacy, I was shocked to see that there was only a 3 month supply of the medication called in. For the past 6 years that I've been on the medication I've always had my panel conducted once annually with a 12 month prescription called in. When I called the ------------ office back, I asked why the prescription was only called in for 3 months. The receptionist who answered the phone said that the prescription was so short in duration because it was only called in as a courtesy since I was not seen by any doctors. (Are you kidding me?!) I informed her that I was seen on Thursday and had labs conducted, and that I have been trying to get this issue resolved since last week. I was transferred back to the nursing station at that point. I was then told that Dr. ------- had left for the day, and that patients typically only get 3 month prescriptions for thyroid medications. Crazy seen as how I've had annual labs for the past 6 years, and everyone I know whom has a thyroid condition gets tested at the highest frequency of every 6 months. After being transferred to two separate nurses, they told me that they would ask the other female doctor on staff if she would extend the prescription to six months. I was placed on hold for fifteen minutes; they apologized and said she was still with patients. I was placed on hold for an additional 15 minutes, the nurse apologized again, and then asked if they should call me back or if I wanted to wait. I wanted to wait because I have been exhausted dealing with this issue that should not have been an issue in the first place, and I wanted it to be over. I waited another 5-10 minutes, and I was finally told that the female doctor on staff had authorized the prescription to be extended to six months. After I hung up, I searched for a means to express my feedback through the corporate website. I have never in my life had this issue with any PCP or any other Walk-In clinic that I have used in the past, and prior to this, never had this issue with ---------. I am shocked at the actions that have transpired over the past week. Forgetting to discuss my medication, forgetting to order the lab, forgetting to ask what dosage/pharmacy I use, forgetting to call in the prescription after since I was unable to receive the prescription on-site until results were in, having NO record/NO documentation to call in the prescription, having NO record of me calling in the first time, NOT following through with the first request to resolve the issue, and then transferring to another facility, accusing me of NOT having seen the doctors....I'm just angry regarding this situation. After reading the mission statement of your corporation, "patient first", I am saddened that this was not the case for me. I only saw poor management, patient neglect, and poor record keeping. I hope this issue is resolved in the future so your organization will lose no more patients.
I am very upset about my recent visit to the ---------, and I feel I would not be doing myself, or the organization, justice without reporting it or voicing my concern. I am sorry about the method of which the feedback has been delivered - the patient feedback form is experiencing technical difficulties, but I felt it necessary to alert someone of my experience/disappointment with the actions of the past 6 days.
Thank you for taking the time to read this email. I am sorry if I have been unable to express myself in a polite/nice manner.
Sincerely,
Jessica-------------
I think that serves its point. I really just want them to apologize for this whole mess. I should not have to harass a doctor to do his job or a clinic to do theirs. I will not be using the clinic again even with an apology, but I still feel as if I'm entitled to one. Even if they only offer 3/6 month prescriptions, I shouldn't have to harass them for that either, especially when I came in for the labs in the first place.
I'm going to give the lady I wrote time to send a response until Friday (72 hours). If I don't get an apology on behalf of her company, I plan on submitting my experience to the Better Business Bureau demanding one. Dramatic, but still, like I said before, you shouldn't have to harass a doctor to do his job. When I discussed this incident with my friends, they all described their own horror stories with the various branches of this clinic with me. I mean I have spent HOURS on the phone with them for the past six days repeating the SAME things over and over again and getting no where and getting people with attitudes. It's a waste of my time and completely unprofessional.
I had my first live session with Rosetta Stone this evening. I was super nervous about it. I'm not sure why I was getting so worked up and nervous because I'm normally not a shy person, but I definitely was. I logged in a few minutes early to study a few review lessons, and then I logged into my live session 10 minutes early which made my nerves even worse.
It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be though. I got to participate in the live session with two other learners. One of their names was Mandie and the other person was named Jacob. Jacob showed up about ten minutes late. It was pretty fun though. When you forgot things, the instructor, whose name was Sivy, was really nice about things. She would help you out and do funny gestures or point to things on herself. She would even type unknown words on the screen. She would take turns asking us questions in Spanish, and then we'd answer. If we used incorrect grammar, she would just simply say the sentence the right away after without making a big deal about things. I was really impressed with the session. We also got to play a few games with each other and had to ask questions to each other throughout the game. One of the games was a bar graph, and we had to ask one another if we had certain pets. Jacob ended up saying he had every single pet on the entire bar graph, so I said in English, "Do you own a zoo or something?" Everyone started laughing, including the instructor. So true though, the boy said he owned a white horse, two fish, a big dog, a little dog, and some cats. He also said he had SIX beds in his house. What in the world?!
We also had a play a guess which picture I've selected game. We had to ask one another clues or if certain pictures were the ones chosen. Jacob had selected a picture that took forever for us to guess. I think he kept changing it to make his turn longer. He was too funny.
I'm excited to see how the other lesson sessions go! I'm sure they will be just as fun. Perhaps I will run into Mr. Jacob Owns Animals again one day!
In other news, I'm going to start utilizing my recently acquired Cast Away philosophy. My self esteem was extremely low today. I was changing for the gym (that I wasn't really in the mood to go to), and everything I put on made me feel like a gigantic whale. I was getting very upset. I almost decided not to go to the gym because I was ashamed of the way I looked (which is the whole purpose, eh?), but I ended up going and working out in the dark cardio theatre room by myself. I only did 33 minutes, but that's better than nothing I think.
Tomorrow begins the introduction of the Cast Away Philosophy into my life/the way I think about things. Who would have thought that multiple viewings of this movie would prompt such life changes? I was texting my best friend earlier, describing how I'm a huge whale and I need to diet. He said we need to diet together (even though he's already a healthy weight), and that tomorrow he's going to call me and we'll discuss diet plans. I started telling him about all the messages I've taken from the movie Cast Away. I said the following four points to him:
Point One: Changing your life for the things that matter and towards the direction that will obtain the goals you want for yourself.
Point Two: Let go of things in the past as simply the past and move forward. Forgive, don't forget.
Point Three: The horizon will bring "sails" to us on a daily basis and without looking for these sails (or holding onto the past realities), we end up missing or pushing away what could make us happy in life.
Point Four: We all must eventually reach a crossroads in our lives, and we must select a path whether we want to or not. We shouldn't go back down old paths because we aren't the same people as we used to be, so we needn't travel down the same road.
I think both Bettina Peterson and Chuck Noland in the movie Cast Away had to release all of these above points before reaching their resolutions in the movie. It's definitely so empowering.
About seven or eight years ago, I was watching a Larry King Live interview. I can't remember who the interview was with, but it was with a very popular motivational speaker. The motivational speaker said something that has since stuck with me (but not acted upon) for the years following this interview. He said something along the lines of "in order to attract a mate that you want to end up with, you first have to possess the qualities that you are searching for. Are you the type of the person that such a mate would reciprocate attraction towards?"
The type of person I want to end up with for the rest of my life would definitely not reciprocate attraction towards me with how I am now. Hell, I'm not even happy with myself. There are definite changes brewing in my life, folks. Definite changes.
Obvious change number one is my physical well being. I've always struggled with weight. Hopped on diet band wagons, starved myself, threw up foods, diet pills, etc. I've gone up and down with my weight ever since I was a child. The word "maintain" has been absent from my entire life. The word with the highest frequency of usage has been "gain". Truth. Last summer, I ended up losing about 50 lbs, but I ended up gaining it all back throughout the course of the year. I've got quite a ways to go at this point to be a healthy, MAINTAINABLE weight for the rest of my life, but we all must START AGAIN somewhere. Do we not?
My start point begins tomorrow. I purchased a BodyBugg (calorie management system/tracker as seen on shows such as the Biggest Loser) about 10 weeks ago. I used it for about 3 weeks, stopped going to the gym, and ended up putting it in the drawer. I went and dug the sucker out of my drawer tonight, and created a new program for myself on the BodyBugg website. Nothing too extreme in terms of the speed of weight loss, but a new program nonetheless. Tomorrow begins logging of my food again. Portion control. Not eating every meal from the inside of microwave. Throwing away the Pop Tarts. Simple things really.
I'm eager to make these changes, but the physical component is only one part of my C.A. philosophy as mentioned in the above four points. I've got lots of changes in store for myself.
My Rosetta Stone for Spanish (Spain) arrived on Saturday. I've been in love with it ever since. It makes me feel as if I'm using my time off for work for something more productive than just sitting around. Beyond documentaries, my brain gets little education during the summer. I've got my first live session during night for my first unit which I completed this evening.
For those of your unaware of the Rosetta Stone setup, each level is composed of 4 units. Each unit has about 4 lessons (that I'm aware of). Within each lesson, you get many mini-lessons, including a core lesson, pronunciation assistance, grammar instruction, prior level practice sessions, reading practice, speaking practice, listening practice, and writing lesson. It took me about 11 hours of active engagement to complete the entire first unit of level one. I stopped and played a few of their language games, and I went back and redid some of the lessons to make a better score.
The language program is completely immersed which means they never give you the English translation of the material. You have to learn what the words mean on your own. They associate everything with pictures, so you're not left totally in the dark regarding what the words mean. I was anxious to see if the material was actually teaching mean comprehension of the language, and when I was presented with three short stories at the end of my lesson, I was shocked that I could actually read and understand what the stories were saying.
I love this program! I'm definitely going to get another language to learn once I finish with all five levels of Spanish.
I haven't been to the gym in a few days since I got my program though, but I'll probably go tomorrow once I finish baby sitting in the morning. Someone is going to pick up the kids early tomorrow, so I'll only have to work until 1030.
I haven't been sleeping well the past week. My sleeping cycle is entirely messed up. My body refuses to sleep at night for some reason. I'm always up to ungodly hours (as you notice with my 2:10 A.M. writing of this entry). I took three tylenol PM a couple of hours ago, but that has had little effect on getting me to sleep. I just don't get tired until after 6 AM. I even tried to avoid sleeping during the day to see if I could switch it back to sleeping at night, but I still was unable to go to sleep. Crazy.
Last night, I practiced on Rosetta stone for about 6 hours, watched Conspiracy Theory (love Julia Roberts), watched a documentary on dreaming, and then watched Cast Away with Tom Hanks. I've been watching that movie every night when I get into bed. Sometimes, I just listen to it, but I've noticed something about that movie. An enlightenment of sorts.
When I first saw Cast Away (years ago), I was disappointed with the way that things ended. I loved the movie, but hated how it ended. I never understood why they didn't just tie things up and give Chuck Noland some getter resolution. I was disappointed he didn't end up with his girlfriend also. After watching the movie for the second and third time, I still had the same conclusion. I always wanted to end the movie where she calls for him leaving her drive way and they run to kiss and embrace each other in the rain. It doesn't end then. Instead, it ends with him on at an intersection in the middle of no where, looking back down the road of the lady whose package he had kept safe on the island for four years.
The romantic in me concluded that he decided to drive back down that road and court this woman, but who knows if that would actually happen.
On my millionth time to watch Cast Away, I noticed something super significant about the opening scene that does not get resolved until the very end of the movie. The woman whose package is picked up by FedEx to be taken to Russia (where we first see Tom's character Chuck Noland) has a very important part of the movie. If you didn't notice (and I didn't, honestly, the first handful of times I watched the movie), the package is being sent to her husband who is in Russia. They both have the name Peterson. When the man opens the door to receive the package, his Russian lover describes how pretty the image is and asks who it's from. He says, "My wife." The package that was sent was not the same that Tom had on the island, but instead, as noted earlier, she had another package for delivery on Thursday. This is the package that ends up with Tom.
We don't see the woman again until Tom delivers the package to the empty ranch house at the end of the movie. When he first drives up to the ranch, the camera can be seen spanning around the ranch grounds. If you notice the ranch logo/sign, it has changed. In the beginning of the movie, when the FedEx truck arrives to pick up the first package that was sent to her husband, you can clearly see the ranch gate says" Dave.....Bettina. With the angel wings in the center that become a central image of the whole movie. When Chuck Noland arrives at the end of the movie to return the package, the portion of the gate that held the name Dave has been destroyed and removed.
It's clear that the marriage has ended. I suppose Bettina found out about the affair in Russia (possibly others and ended things.
How is this important? Because it shows how Tom's struggle on the island as a "Cast Away" is not synonymous to be cast away on a deserted island in the middle of the Atlantic, but can also be in the real world. Cast away from a marriage perhaps, or the delusion that love conquers all? Who knows.
The intersection/crossroads also plays into the theme of the movie. Chuck as been through hell. He's been on a deserted island for four years, his girlfriend has since married and had a daughter, and now the things he once valued (time, fine foods, tools) now seem so insignificant and easy to him. He's at a crossroads in his own life now. He's not quite sure what's going to happen to him next, but he knows that his life will forever be changed.
The movie serves to teach us all a lesson, and it taught me a great, much needed lesson last night. As Chuck says to his dear friend/colleague at the end, "You never know what the horizon will bring tomorrow"/ Even though Chuck wanted to kill himself and give up hope, he kept breathing. Eventually. it leads you to believe that his only hope lies in his return to his girlfriend, but I think he realizes at the end, that it's not his hope for his love for her, but rather a hope that life continues and that he will survive the problems that keep going, and that sometimes. as much as things may have been our centralized focus and love in life, we merely have to take another road for whatever reason. The road is still there, and you don't forget it, but at some point, you have to get out of the crossroads of life and decide to move forward.
Chuck had to let the love of his life go. It prompted me thinking that I need to let mine go as well. I've been so angry/hurt for years over John, and I really just need to move on. The horizon/tide will never bring him back into my life, so I really just need to find my happiness in new things. I've been dating plenty before and held relationships, but somehow, he's always been on my mind.
Last night, after my enlightenment on all things Cast Away, I realized that I need to forgive him and move forward. No hate. No anger. Move forward. Without letting ALL of him go, I'm never going to end up happy. In a very dramatic moment, I must say, I listened to the Cast Away theme song, and I had a good cry, but afterwords, I had a calm flow upon me like I've never had before. Like Chuck, it was like a "tide came in and gave me a sail". Very powerful even though it's dramatic.
I've never in my life felt such a connection to a movie as I do with Cast Away. I hated it for how it ended, but now, I consider it the best ending in a movie to date. It ends with Chuck looking at a horizon off in the distance towards the ranch, and I feel that Chuck has a new sail. A calm purpose almost. He knows, at that point, that him surviving his struggle and letting go of his past will usher in a new life of happiness perhaps (I hope anyways) with Bettina who has gone through a struggle with her own crossroads with Dave. Although he wrecked their marriage, and probably crushed her dreams, she kept going, and was able to smile when she meets Chuck at the crossroads to ask if he's lost. Bettina could have surely given up hope in her life and closed the ranch she owned with her husband, but instead, she moves on. She destroys his name, removes it, but leaves the gate there which links into letting go of the past, but not forgetting it.
Chuck could have easily been begrudged and been angry/upset over losing his girlfriend, being on the island, and losing his volleyball Wilson, but instead he realizes that this entire journey was needed in order to show him the most important things in life. You can see at the beginning that he places so much importance on each second of time. He's obsessed with work. He often neglects his appointments with his girlfriend for work. He plans every second of every day, as evident by his over flowing day planner/day planner meetings with his girlfriend, but at the end of the movie, we see his changes starting, the Chuck Noland at the beginning of the movie would never forget the ten minutes of time his cab driver gave him at the house. He learned to appreciate life for all its worth. I think he also learned the meaning of hoping.
I feel like I've written an essay, but I could seriously go on and on about my LOVE of this movie now, and it's importance in my own life.
If you haven't seen this movie, please watch it, and if you have, watch it again. I mean it seriously is FILLED with the most important lesson in life that is one we simply seem to always forget.
And with that, I'm out. Do listen to the theme though. It's now in my top 10 of favorite songs.
I've decided to cancel the plans for the date tomorrow night. He seems to have issues with understanding that I will not be coming over to his place for any reason. He texted the other day to ask how my day was going, and then he said he's had a bad day. I told him I hope his day gets better. He said:
"It would be a lot better if you came over and brought dinner with you."
I just rather lost it on him at that point as I told him four other times that I will not be coming over to his place until I've established a relationship with him. If this had been the first time, I wouldn't have reacted like I did, but this was the fourth time after I told him to stop. I'm not looking to hook up with random people. I said to him:
"I'm sorry you've had a bad day and all, but I'm getting rather angry that you won't stop telling me or hinting at me or what have you to come over to your place. That isn't going to happen. It really just shows me that you don't give a shit about how I feel regarding that issue."
He then told me that he was joking and that "wow, I read too much into things", but it won't happen again. I didn't bother to reply to that. The appropriate response would have been to apologize and/or not brought it up again. I haven't even met this guy before. It's obviously far from ever going to work. He didn't contact me today, and I was actually relieved. (Not a good sign before even going on a date with someone.) If he texts tomorrow or calls about the date, I'm going to tell him that I'm not interested and things aren't going to work out. (Obviously.)
The End.
In other news, I've got a sty in my eye. It's been bugging me for two days now. I went to the doctor today (needed to get my thyroid checked anyways), and he gave me a prescription ointment for it. I hope it doesn't get infected again. I'm very prone to getting MRSA infections. I've had MRSA in my eyes before, and it was AWFUL. I was on an IV for three days with two eyes that keep matting shut from pus. Really one of the worst memories I've got in my bag.
I haven't had an MRSA infection in about six months. The last one I've had was on my stomach. I'm going to be beyond upset if it gets into my eyes again.
New subject.
I've been doing well at the gym for the past two weeks. Last summer, I was doing three hour (or more) workouts a day, and I had lost a TON of weight. When school started back, I was working 6 to 6 everyday, and I basically stopped working out for MONTHS and gained all the weight I had lost plus some. My eating was horrible as well. I've been picking up the workouts though ranging from 30 minutes to an hour. I'm going to try to get back into the three-hour workout shape within the next month or so. I've got to also start watching what I'm eating. I eat/drink SO POORLY now. Have to get on top of things. None of last summer's clothes fit properly if at all, so it must be done. Perhaps, I'll find some other dieters on this site that I can befriend! Would be nice to have some online support!
Unfortunately, the fact I live in an apartment only means I have to not only deal with my life, but also the lives of the people beside and below me. I didn't realize how good I had things last summer. The guy who used to live below me was always at his girlfriend's place. Beside me to the left was a guy who went away on business for weeks and months at time. I didn't even realize someone lived in that apartment until two months after I moved in. The only issue I had in all directions was Apartment 5.
Apartment 5 was nice and all. In fact, I think he might have a little crush on me. He isn't even that annoying, unless he pulls out his guitar and decides to pretend he's actually an accomplished singer at random hours of the night, usually between 1 A.M. and 5 A.M. I have only ever been woken up by this once or twice, so for the most part, I had a quiet life.
About six months ago, the dawn of a new age of noise came upon me like a colossal wave of annoyance. Apartment 1 was vacated by Mr. On-The-Go Engineer and in his place arrived Andy. I can't even really think of a nickname for Andy, so I'm just going to use his real name. How to describe Andy? Imagine if Mr. Clean (the annoying side) and Conan O'Brien (the unfunny side) mated and produced a child. Now imagine this child with a drinking and drug problem.
Andy moved into the apartment because he was going through a custody hearing/divorce via webcam and needed to get a break from life. He's constantly drugged out. Awkward. No social skills. And LOUDER than anything I've ever heard in my life. He also LOVES to play Guitar Hero until 7 A.M., and then proceeds to sleep all day when everyone else has to work because he has no job or responsibilities.
Apartment 3 also got new occupants. A girl and her boyfriend. They never, ever stop fighting. The walls are so thin here that I can hear everything that goes on in their life. I hear when their fights begin, what they fight about, when their fights end, when they stop fighting long enough to have sex, and when they fight some more. They once had a three hour argument over microwaveable rice. No kidding. I often have to leave the apartment and go see a movie at the theatre down the road just to get away from it all. They are constantly breaking up, and he'll move out for a few days. Once for a week. Yesterday, he moved out again, but I hear her being overly dramatic about something, so I'm assuming they are trying to "work things out". Let's hope they don't.
Apartment 5, who was originally bearable, is now becoming a little too dramatic for my liking. He's recently let his nineteen year old son and his son's sixteen year old girlfriend move in with him. At first, I thought they were visiting, but they've been here for well over a month now. It doesn't make sense either. These are one bedroom apartments. Where can three people sleep? Much less a dad and his young adult son/girlfriend. Everything became a little too much for me when I'm minding my own business outside, and the nineteen year old son comes out crying. I tried to avoid eye contact at first because it was just too awkward, but finally he asked if he could get advice. Apparently, the kiddos had a fight and the girlfriend broke a mirror in attempts to slit her wrists with or threaten to at least if he left her. He was wondering if that was normal, and if he should break up with her or still marry her?
*stare*
I wondered for a few seconds if the question was rhetorical, but he seriously seemed clueless. I told him that's not healthy, things won't get better with marriage, and that if she truly wants to harm herself, she needs immediate medical attention/counseling/medication and to call 911. My advice went unheard I suppose because they were still holding hands the next day.
Apartment drama. I texted a neighbor friend of mine the other night to come out during the mirror breaking incident. She was stating how she was watching the Mob Wives. I just said in return:
"Why are you watching that when we have enough drama to last us for our lives in our parking lot? And, it's free."
It makes me grateful for the little time that I did spend in my oblivious, quiet, cozy apartment, enjoying the drama-free environment around me. Now it's like I live in a more trashier version of Melrose Place, and instead of skinny, beautiful people, we have what seems like a genetic mutation of Mr. Clean and my obese ass as the cast of characters. Speaking of which, it's about time I take my happy self to Gold's Gym.
